You know what's a tough play to stop?

9:00 am – Wake up for second round Ryder Cup action. Cink and Campbell look a bit shaky.

9:30 – Breakfast is contemplated.

10:00 – I think Jimenez misses playing with Sergio.

11:00 – Restate my weekly predictions that Florida State is good, Carolina will blow out Wofford, Auburn will barely score a point against LSU, and Georgia may still have a hangover after last week.

11:30 – Wonder where Lou got his medical degree.

12:00 p.m. – Breakfast remains a pipe dream.

12:30 – For a bad football team, N.C. State sure is on TV a lot.

12:45 – I highly recommend the Piggly Wiggly Deli pork chop – but only if you have the teeth of a mountain lion.

1:00 – Receive first phone call about a ride to the game. Naturally, the time that I’m planning on leaving doesn’t suit. No matter what time you say you’re going to a game, it’s always too late or too early.

2:00 – When does Mississippi State come back on the schedule?

3:00 – I hate it when Ron Morris is right. East Carolina is a bit overrated.

3:30 – Georgia Tech will give Clemson all they want.

3:45 – The Americans are starting to look very American in this Ryder Cup.

4:00 – Florida is good. Tebow is good. Maybe they’ll all get the flu when Carolina has to play them.

4:15 – North Carolina has a huge football team.

4:30 – Despite the fact that I have bought 78 tubes of Chapstick in the past year, I can not find any.

5:00 – Tell all who will listen about my predictions for the night games. I sure know a lot about football.

5:15 – Depart for game. Make a pit stop for Chapstick. I’m officially addicted.

5:30 – Drive by Barnes and Noble where they are handing out Wofford tickets to use as bookmarks.

5:45 – Arrive at game. Someone is parked in my spot. I inquire to the management about how that happened, only to get “Yeah that will happen around here.” I wonder what a cab ride would cost to the game?

6:00 – Take part in the first fourteen person tailgate to not have a TV. Ryder Cup, Florida, North Carolina – I might as well be on the moon.

6:30 – Observe a man on a bicycle start his own personal Game-cocks cheer as he rides through the parking lot.

7:00 – Why is Carolina now late coming out for 2001?

7:10 – Gamecocks are still average at quarterback.

7:20 - Man is quite pleased with himself for his Smelley stinks pun.

7:30 – Seventeen jillion dollars in stadium upgrades and I still can’t get a score from any other game. Why can’t there just be a scroll ticker going constantly?

7:35 – We’re going to lose to Wofford.

7:45 – I listen to a man explain to an 8 year old child what a fair catch is. Don’t they cover this stuff in school?

8:00 – There’s that option again.

8:10 – Pre halftime discussion revolves around how to get from West Club to South Lower. My simple directions fall on deaf ears.

8:20 – Look, I love America as much as the next guy, and fine if you want to do a salute to America halftime, but can we dig up some new props? The flags are so old that they have 48 stars on them.

8:40 – The most important defensive stop of the season occurs in the first part of the second half.

8:45 – The same man explains to the same child what a PSL is.

8:55 – Maddux and Baker look like they have a little wiggle to them.

9:05 – Ayers has lost his mind. Three pass plays – three and out. Did he watch the first half?

9:15 - Literally no one around me is paying any attention to the game. Most people might as well be at a grade school dance recital during the parts that don’t involve their relatives.

9:30 – I finally exhale as Carolina scores to make it 23 – 13. Why do I come to these things?

10:00 – Try to make a mad dash out of the parking lot. Someone gets out of my car to mix a liquor drink from my trunk. I’m buying a smaller car.

10:30 – Get home to watch the last two minutes of LSU-Auburn and UGA-ASU. I sure am smart.

10:45 – Why is there no Pac-10 game on TV? How am I supposed to sleep?

11:00 – How much is that UAB pay-per-view?